TV After Work

*sighs* so... On Friday, I had just received my first "employee warning" via a piece of paper and a visit from my supervisor. It was for "inadiquit work and innappropriet use of the internet". As some of you may recall, I like to get on here throughout the work day. For the past couple of days though, I've been going on YouTube to put on some "alternative education" (basically all the stuff I like to learn like, the monitary system, our corrupt gov, the lying media, mass population manipulation, questioning your reality type documenterys and such) to play in the background while I work because what I do is brain-numbingly EASY but tedious. I have ADHD and even on my pills, my attention tends to wander so having something in the background to where I can Listen and Work without Stopping is a way I cope with the "child-like labor" I'm assigned to do (which is input data into the companies data base or separating papers about 6 different times... very dull) Now, I know our policy is not to be on Youtube and it IS my fault for thinking I Could go on there. My work Has been suffering but only because of the extra Crap the person I assist and I have to do, giving me only 2 days out of the work week to get MY shit done...

This picture was from a while ago, around the time I drew "Less Alone" but I never finished it cuz I couldn't get his muzzle just right and I started to feel better until now. *sighs* I'm just... really, Really sad guys... I don't want to lose this job but god damnit... The things I'm asked to do is so BORING! I know I'm on the companies time and I should only Use the companies internet for Work but... Idk... I know that after the "referral" that I can't go online anymore incase it Wasn't youtube that gave me away... Meaning, I won't be able to take "breaks" from the droning task of imputing data for 8 fucking hours. Which mean's i'll be more likely to zone out, which means most of my day will be not focused unbridled BOREDOM of which I have a great anxiety to. I won't be happy at work anymore, i'll just be so ungodly bored and at one point last Saturday, I just wanted to say "fuck this" and run out of the building I couldn't take it. Sometimes the system is slow (takes about a 2:30 to load) 2 minuets doesn't seem like much but when you're staring at a screen, it feels like an Eternity! Then when ppl walk by you and see you not working, it makes you seem like you're Not working when you're actually Waiting. I don't want to quit because A: this is the only job I was able to get for a year, and it's at my DAD'S work, B: it's easy money, and C: I get healthcare, full time, benefits, and paid vacation days and raises... Idk why I have to work away for the best parts of my life when I should be enjoying them... What is the fucking point if I can't at least be Happy while at work? Seriously!... There is no point...